When is the right time to share the truth?
- when you know that the person you’re telling the truth to is firmly grounded on Christ. Otherwise, the weight of your truth is too heavy for the person to bear and the person fell to the ground.
I met a person 6-7 years ago in an intimate relationship. One day he told me, in a very casual situation, that he used to date a Korean woman before me. Maybe he was expecting me to say back something light and easy. But I wasn’t. My head was getting busy thinking why he said that. I asked him and he said that he thought it’s good to share some past about what happened in our lives before we met each other.
Well, I couldn’t agree on him. I began to feel very insecure. I had issues and reasons to be insecure and I wasn’t grounded on Christ, because I never knew Christ at that time. I wasn’t happy to learn his past but I was very insecure for knowing his past. I manically fantasized in my head that he’d be crazy on Asian woman. I made a mental note not to take him to my favorite Asian market (where he’d have seen fine-looking Asian women) and I ended up never introducing any of my Korean friends that I knew to him. And after the break up, I formed a belief that sharing the truth with someone you date is a big No No.
Some years after, my belief of not sharing the truth with a date had put into a challenge. I really liked this person and felt that this person needed and wanted the profound level of sharing truth, including sharing the past. I felt guilty for not being able to share the truth. I really liked that person, I wanted to keep the relationship working but unfortunately I thought, to make that happen I shouldn’t tell the truth. Because I thought he would get collapsed with the truth I tell, just like how I experienced by the truth of a guy 6-7 years ago. The relationship I tried to save by not telling the truth didn’t work eventually.
I need a lesson to move on in my life. Thankfully, the lesson has given from the healthy Christian relationship and advices. It’s simple to say but maybe hard to act. We need to be solid on Christ. So that we don’t get shattered by the truth that other people told us. When we are safe in Christ, we wouldn’t get too distressed by other people’s story. We wouldn’t attack them by denying their truths but we can accept their truths as the truths and give them comforts that they need while we would feel grateful to God that their truths are not our truths (meaning, we don’t suffer from what they suffer). Being solid on Christ includes not to love any human beings more than God. If we love a human more and share our truths and the person collapsed. It’s bad for us, because we feel like our truths are never being accepted. But God never ditch us for our sins and truths. God has embraced us despite of our sins, then it’s not a big deal even if one human fails to accept the truths of ours. We won’t be too distressed but would continue living our lives.
Original Posting on Facebook 21.07.01